(no subject)

A friend and I were having a conversation about the expectations of friends and how we're supposed to manage them. We were talking about things that friends had done recently that had really kind of disappointed us, things that we thought were beneath them. I said, well, I probably shouldn't have said a single word about that, because it's not really my JOB to tell people what I think about everything. And then she said, yeah, no, it's really not, and told me a story about how she had been really disappointed in a friend and somebody said, well, no - you can't be disappointed, because you're not responsible for her behavior.

And I'm really not sure. I get proud for friends, people who I watch struggle and who I KNOW have had to work so hard, and by the logic of no-responsibility I'm not supposed to feel that, either. And I really believe in the regulatory power of the social network, the little groups that we build around us to help shape our visions of ourselves and our expectations for our lives. I think it's nice to have people have expectations of us. So few of us are part of church families or the kind of extended social networks that model tribal relationships; few of us are near our extended families. That kind of freedom is so, well, freeing but I do wonder if we're happier (as the social creatures humans are, even those of us who are strongly introverted) if we have more people pulling at us, giving us expectations and parameters. It doesn't FEEL true (I spend a portion of my life feeling like people are chipping away at my autonomy and trying not to resent the people I love - it's not pretty, I know, but there you are) but I wonder if it is, anyway. Do we have some kind of ownership in our friends' lives, a kind of investment in the people they are?

What do you think?

Comfort memes

Urgh - rough week, but did I mention we're back in our house? The power came on at 5:45 last night, exactly 15 minutes before we had to cancel our hotel reservation or be stuck paying the $300, so that worked out, eh? Had a rough day today and I'm feeling a bit beat up, so have some groupthink.

67 As a 1930s wife, I am Superior Take the test!

SUPERIOR! Suck it, bitches.

(Oops. Make that 66?)

Seriously, except for the whole gender issues thing, and the whole lack of modcons thing, I have a bit of a soft spot for 30s era housewifery. Tomorrow or Sunday I shall put up jam and my relationship to my ball jars really is kind of embarrassingly retro.

Also, this, which is basically just a prettied-up, color-coded Myers-Briggs:

My INTJ has been turning more and more F over the last ten years, I think; something about parenthood and becoming more comfortable with ambiguities with age and experience, blah blah blah.

And, finally, re. zombies:

1. Weapon: razor-sharp wit, a tongue to match and the cojones to use them both. (What the hell. Might as well dream big and if I'm going to die, it'd be v. satisfying to know that, for once, I said exactly the right thing. Maybe I could shame the zombies into going away?)
2. Music: Hmmm. Not surprisingly, I don't have much in the way of a personal ass-kicking soundtrack. As lame as it is, what springs to mind is the Buffy theme, that Nerf Herder thing? Yeah. :D
3. Person: Rodney McKay, because he's come to be a decent shot and he's better than McGyver at pulling a solution out of thin air and if it all went terribly wrong, we could have spectacular end-of-the-world sex so, again, not a total loss.

You might have noticed the hedging of bets here. Maybe if I had a better ass-kicking soundtrack I wouldn't be quite so fatalistic.